Still waiting to wake up

I was riding the subway today, just like I do everyday. From 40Th and 7Th ave number 2 or 3 and then on 96Th street stop to number one...
I sat down and saw my reflection from the opposite window. Which is not very unordinary either. But it was the first time I felt old. Not in a meaning that I am over my youth and physically old but older then what I usually feel. Then I started to think where I am, where I was going, and most importantly where I came from. I have noticed one thing, that I was here in New York City almost at my half age ago, for the first time and I made myself a promise. On my first visit to here (which was with my brother, uncle and his family, aunt, cousin and my aunts mother...) I promised to come here again and maybe come here for good. I kept on talking and writing about this dream but it was a DREAM. Now I know, I am still dreaming, one day I am going to wake up and find myself in my bed, surrounded with my stuffed animals, babies and call out my mom and tell her the beautiful dream that I had... Where I was training to become a teacher for children and/or adolescents who do not have the chance to use art as a communication tool in a city which I believe is not child friendly at all, surrounded with concrete creatures and unfriendly people, but so much chaos, diversity, and culture. And me married to my childhood love...I am still waiting to wake up. Maybe by my dog's cry, or a kiss from my grandma, or a tender touch by my mom's hand...

Student Teacher = Teacher ....

For the first time, I was alone in the classroom. Well my cooperative teacher was just outside the classroom but it was only me who knew she was there.
Teaching 20 or something students in a classroom. I had all their attention on me, their eyes on me, eager to learn everything I am willing to give them... My first class was a kindergarten class and they were going to paint with the big students tray since they did a great job the last time they used paint. Even for an adult it is so difficult to keep your colors that are on your palette clean, but they were able to remind themselves and each others to keep their brushes clean. It is so joyful to hear all students say oh no, you have to wash your brush and dry it on the sponge before you take your next color. They love when you make a mistake (even though you do it on purpose and even they know that you are doing it on purpose:)))...)
I had another kindergarten class and we (teachers) made a mistake, we thought that they have done painting before and gave them also big tray! We had already set up the class for them with big tray when I noticed that they haven't painted before. SO I expended my demonstration time a little bit so that I can review primary colors, cleaning their brushes and drying them every time they change a color on their brush. Some of these kids have had painting with Ms. L. in Pr.K. so they kind of knew what they were supposed to do, and for the new students the old ones were very helpful and nice. They kept reminding everyone to clean their brushes...
After these classes I had to stop and think to myself; how can I make this better as a teacher? They seem to do a great job with mixing colors, and they do not seem to have a motivation for painting. Brush, paint, and water is just an enough motivation for them...
In the studio, time is a very valuable thing. So I keep looking at the time, and not pay enough attention to what students are doing during the studio time. This is the first thing I am trying to work on. I try make one-to-one connections with students but I also need to point out things that would help them keep on track, considering that at this age they can not concentrate more then 15-20 minutes.
Painting is one of the materials that cleaning up takes the most time. As a teacher I have to get used to prepare for the next class since there is not much time in between the classes... (at least at elementary I need to do that cause kids are not countable enough yet).


On the other hand, my students started to recognize me, acknowledge me, let me be a part of their life. It is an amazing thing when they see you in the hall way, on the street, or some where and they make effort to come next to you just to say ' Hi Ms. Ilona'.
I am enjoying to be Ms. Ilona in their lives.

Everyday is a new day for me and for students...

Looking forward for tomorrow, for new things to come along...

Art of education

I am constantly trying to remember, do the right thing, say the right words, do not forget to mention about my objective, goals, the appropriate words for the students... and I am also reminded to have fun... SO this week I have promised myself that I am going to have fun!!!
so here are some pictures of my students having fun:) I have to say the teaching is more enjoyable when you are having fun:):D.
It is not easy for a new teacher to establish good discipline and let his/her students explore. Art classroom is one of the most important place for a student to explore materials, ideas, and life. Actually that is where I found out about myself and where I learned that being different is not always bad. I personally do not remember a lot about my elementary school years. I remember sitting with 2 more students in one table, learning how to read and write, how to use utensils for eating, learning to calculate with colorful strips and coins... but do not remember doing any art.:( Most of my art classroom memories are from middle school or high school (and to be honest they are not that perfect either...) But I am hoping that my students will at least be able to say, I have done painting, played with clay (for them most of the activities are a part of a game, I do not mind as long as they explore and learn), make constructions from paper, build puppets with paper-mache, and etc. What about making prints, making collage with all sorts of different materials. I mean I sometimes get bored of teaching the same thing with a different objective such as tearing or cutting a paper, making stick puppets or animals that they have seen in their farm visit... As long as you can give them a spark to make them get excited about the topic kids love to have their hands on materials.
And when you see the smile on their faces when they notice what they can do, and start calling out you or peers and asks 'Look what I did, look what I have made...' Right now I believe that it is the best gift a student can give to the teacher unknowingly. And there are those gifts that are specially made for the teacher. A portrait of you while you show all your teeth and your curly hair (well in my case at least). Your students comes up to you and says look what I made, and when you talk about it you learn that it was made for you, a portrait of you for you... It is on my refrigerator, reminding me everyday why I love teaching.
I am trying to teach students about art and they teach me the art of teaching:).
A have a lot to teach and more lot to learn, can't wait to go back to my class and be with my students...

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Just came across with this series of books for kids written by Jeff Kinney...
A nice and naughty kid (just a kid:)!) and his relationships, experiences in his life with a touch of nice drawings. I hope you will also enjoy them.

here is the link:
http://www.wimpykid.com/


Day 99:)
http://www.justwriteabook.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/diary-of-a-wimpy-kid.jpg

A lesson to my student - A lesson to myself...

Today in one of my classes a student was teasing an other student which caused her to start crying.:(
I personally never liked when people made fun of others and gain the attention of the class/group. Even though I was not teased or bullied it always made me uncomfortable. So I asked Jordan (my student) , 'How would you feel if someone made fun of you in front of everyone, how would that make you feel? You would be hurt right?'. And as soon as I made him picture himself instead of the girl (Joanne) he apologized. It reminded me something very important. He is just a second grader, who is learning about life, relations, and how life can be hard if your friends do not help you out. But even in older ages, I specially remember my adolescent years when I kept repeating to my friends and family that 'You have to treat to others in the way that you want to be treated' . It has not changed, I still need to remind my self and everyone around me that what ever we do, we say, first we have to tell/do it to our selves and see how we feel.
Student teaching is a different experience where I am a student and at the same time a teacher, not much experienced teacher. Somethings that I do or say in the classroom reminds me of my mom a lot. She is one of those mothers who does not have to work hard for disciplining her children or their friends. Her looks would tell what she is asking from you and you would not have any other chance but to do what ever you are asked (some times, even her own friends children would be a victim of her looks). Whenever I come together with my childhood friends this is what we remember, we used to call her 'The Witch Mom', which she actually would use herself also and she enjoyed being The Witch Mom. My cooperative teacher today told me that it is good for me to be firm with kids cause they need some firmness but I should also enjoy my time with them... This pretty much reminded me of my mom, how she is a tough but loving and tendering woman at the same time. I have too much to learn...
Everyday an new lesson for my students, and for me...

Why, what, how...

'On Life-Art and Beyond...'
I used to write diaries (which I still keep) that were only for me and for my future children. I was hoping to tell them that they are not alone, that I am not alone in this world and everyone goes through similar things but in different ways...
I am learning about some other ways to talk / to communicate now... I am trying to learn and teach at the same time the beauty of art language. I am focusing on fine arts mostly at the moment but when talking about art I will try to include all types of art.
I am always in a search of a life which includes art and try to see beyond...
In this blog I will try to write about my life, the reality that I go through, my memories, experiences, rights, wrongs, etc. There will be love, friendship, maybe hate, anger, but most importantly honesty...

Welcome to my life, hope you will not only visit but become a part of my life, my story...

May the day bring joy and happiness to all and make sure to have just enough art in your life. You, I, and everyone deserves happiness therefor do not be afraid of pursuing your own happiness.