It has a different feeling, when the sun hits a part of your body and starts to melt everything you own. Your feelings, fears, joys, and many more. You sit down and let your body be taken by the energy and just fall into a day dream. Maybe dream about being on a beach, relaxing, or maybe on a sail boat sharing laughs with your loved ones and the silence of the nature (yes I missed my family routine and missed them).What ever your dream is, you fling out of it when the sun looses it's energy. Then you come back to reality, and ask yourself where was I, what was I doing? Today is such a day. I have been sitting in-front of my computer by my bedroom window and let the sun invade my body, my soul... thinking about where I am coming and where exactly I am going. Couple of years ago I decided to change my path and take risks. I never was in fear but there had been times when I doubted myself just like everyone. Not knowing what you might come up with, trusting yourself but not to others... Many more and different reasons for someone to give up... But I did not and tomorrow, I will be able to show myself why I started this journey.
I have been student teaching for almost 5 months now and I feel, not only feel but also know that I am ready to be the teacher in the classroom. I have learned so much but I also know that there are so many more to learn. I just want to climb up those high stairs on my own and maybe fall down and then get up again and start over.
I learned to listen to children as well as to adults, really listen and understand what they are saying. It is like listening yourself and hearing the joy inside you, and understanding the reasons, beauty and ugliness of all. Or understanding your pet when he looks at you and says he loves you no matter what...
Over the years I have learned to listen to myself and after that I was able to listen to the rest. I know I am lucky because I learned to listen from my grandma and from my mom... They taught me that in order to be able to be/live happy, and to share this life, first you have to listen.
I remember from one book that I have read years ago, a little girl was trying to listen to the world, she put her ear on the ground and could not hear anything for so long. But she kept on trying and one day she could hear the insects underneath the earth moving, water traveling through the ground to the air, and through hear hearth...
I still have so much to learn but I am ready to share...
There are birds singing since the morning just out side my window, welcoming the sun in their life. At first I was jealous of them cause they could sing but now I know, I can write or draw or paint. Or just think and welcome sun in my own way.
Come in sun, come inside and melt me down. I am here to listen, listen to your stories, to what they may tell...
