Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Still waiting to wake up

I was riding the subway today, just like I do everyday. From 40Th and 7Th ave number 2 or 3 and then on 96Th street stop to number one...
I sat down and saw my reflection from the opposite window. Which is not very unordinary either. But it was the first time I felt old. Not in a meaning that I am over my youth and physically old but older then what I usually feel. Then I started to think where I am, where I was going, and most importantly where I came from. I have noticed one thing, that I was here in New York City almost at my half age ago, for the first time and I made myself a promise. On my first visit to here (which was with my brother, uncle and his family, aunt, cousin and my aunts mother...) I promised to come here again and maybe come here for good. I kept on talking and writing about this dream but it was a DREAM. Now I know, I am still dreaming, one day I am going to wake up and find myself in my bed, surrounded with my stuffed animals, babies and call out my mom and tell her the beautiful dream that I had... Where I was training to become a teacher for children and/or adolescents who do not have the chance to use art as a communication tool in a city which I believe is not child friendly at all, surrounded with concrete creatures and unfriendly people, but so much chaos, diversity, and culture. And me married to my childhood love...I am still waiting to wake up. Maybe by my dog's cry, or a kiss from my grandma, or a tender touch by my mom's hand...

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